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Always a bridesmaid but never a bride…

Debbie felt this way for quite a while. When we spoke she cried, “I’ve been lonely for so damn long!”

I could tell that she was frustrated by noticing that things weren’t moving forward in her personal life the way she wanted. But what could I do? Give her words of compassion, console her, soothe her emotions? If that’s what she wanted she would have joined support groups; I am a mentor. I teach people to help themselves to be independent from circumstances and the approval of others.

I said, “I understand that you’re in pain and it’s difficult for you not to notice other women achieving their desires. You can’t do anything about that. But you can do everything about your situation – if you only knew how easily it can be done with the power of your mind!”

“What do you mean?”

“Debbie, you think that life doesn’t change for you, but it does! Today it changed according to your thoughts and emotions that you emanated yesterday. Tomorrow your life will change according to your thoughts and emotions that you have today. Be mindful of what you think and feel! Stop focusing on unproductive negative thoughts. Start changing your habitual sloppy thinking and have FUN! Have Focused Upliftment Now!

And I told her to take a breath and repeat after me one sentence at a time:


~Alright, I’m a bridesmaid and never a bride.

~That sucks!

~And I can’t do anything about my current reality.

~But I can do everything about my future.

~I can start thinking of what I want.

~I want to be happy.

~I am just another wonderful person who deserves to be happy.

~Why not?

~Happiness is my birthright.

~Why was I ever born to this world?

~There must be a reason for that.

~I don’t think that I was born to suffer.

~I don’t think I was born to feel miserable and lonely.

~I must have had a better reason to be born.

~Something’s telling me that my life is about happiness.

~Deep inside I believe that I am a beautiful person and must be happy.

~Deep inside I love this beautiful person who is truly me.

~Deep inside I trust myself for launching this great desire for happiness and being truthful to it.

~I would rather wait for my beautiful dream to come true than jump into a careless relationship just because other women found their desire.

~I would rather find that special sense of happiness from within that would emanate out to the universe proclaiming that I’m ready!

~I would rather focus on my inner values!

~I would rather treasure my beautiful qualities!

I would rather acknowledge the authentic essence of me!

~And then I raise my worth in my own eyes!

~And now I feel better than few minutes ago.

~And this is what I CAN do.

~It’s in my power to help myself to raise my feelings.

~I am glad I can feel lovable and loved.

~And my love is undoubtedly going to find me!



I allowed Debbie to refocus her train of thought onto something happier. And this was all that she needed at this moment – stop the old momentum and start a new one by being mindful, skillful, and knowing FUN, Focused Upliftment Now.

If this FUN self-talk resonates with you, you too can benefit from it. Just keep practicing and develop your creative FUN skills.

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