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How to Survive an Ugly Divorce

A 48-year old acquaintance was going through an ugly divorce. She asked me to help her to overcome her suffering. What could I really offer her? Compassion? Words of wisdom? Prayers?

I decided that the best thing I could do was to offer her an uplifting self-persuading process, that I teach my clients to create by themselves, the process of finding better feeling thoughts. And I’m going to share with you a part of this work:

“I’m going through an ugly divorce. I hurt and I’m aware of my feelings. This is the first step I’m undertaking in my journey up the emotional scale. I’m aware  of what I don’t want and this is a good thing. What is it that I DO want? I’m redirecting my focus of attention toward the opposite to the ugly feeling and I tell myself, I’m looking forward to a beautiful new beginning in my life. Oh, that sounds way better and I feel relief!

“Now, it doesn’t mean I’m happy, of course. I’m still grieving for the loss I’m experiencing. But I’m going to fight for my happiness now. I’m going to do it by expressing  vengeful thoughts that I accumulated during this ugly divorce experience. I’m going to tell you the whole truth about you and your attitude toward me! I’m going to tell everyone everything I know about you, so you would know how big my is  indignation! Oh, I know that I’m doing this in my imagination only and even though I don’t say anything in reality I’m getting my power back with images and expressions…”

This self-talk is like a long letter to oneself where using the skills of finding better feeling thoughts, one can actually release their negative emotions and even increase their positive emotions. With time positive momentum gathers and the person feels good, better ideas come to mind, and that’s what I offered to my acquaintance. In the end she felt peaceful and could think straight. With time she learned the skills I taught her in my FeelGoood mentoring and she was able to not just overcome her pain, but also to find a new life partner!

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